23: Sleepy Monday

Monday...

I'm sleepy the whole day. I didn't get to sleep 8 hours the night before. I don't know why.
I fell asleep past 2 am Monday morning. I've been watching MYX till 1 am.
I can't sleep..maybe somebody's thinking of me that why I can't sleep..(assuming!)
Or I'm having a insomia. I don't know and I don't really care if I have one. =)
Today..I have tons and tons of work load. And I still need to continue it till tomorrow.
TODAY is not a bad day or a super happy day.
It's just the same day that I need to stay at the office for 8 hours.
It's a boring day...or should I say, I'm having a boring time of my life.
But I used to it and I don't have any choice but to live with it.

20: Love sick :(

"And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing...
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?"

Yeah..I'm pretty much tired of listening to some silly love songs that would make me feel miserable. Listening to love songs makes me feel ALONE. Alone in a sense that I'm not with someone, I'm not dating anyone, and I'm single for the longest time.I'm not complaining or
anything. I'm tired of seeing people holding hands while walking and I'm just walking alone. I'm tired of eating alone at the mall. I just want to know that there's someone who's gonna make my day complete. Someone who would make me smile even though I'm having a worst day. Someone who would appreciate me.

"Been running from this feeling for so long
Telling my heart I didn't need it
Pretending I was better off alone
But I know that it's just a lie"

I'm tired pretending that I'm okay and everything is completely fine. I just want to feel normal. Normal as in feeling happy and being in pain. I know that falling in love is happiness and pain but I think I could handle that. I know that in God's time, there's someone out there really meant for me. Just wait..wait and wait..There's no need to rush. (I'm just comforting myself..haha)


>>P.S. I'm emo right now..blame it on Asher Book. I'm listening to his song "Try". and I come up writing this blog..

"still I believe..I'm missing something real!"

16: I'm Pissed Of

I woke up early around 7 am and hoping that my day would be fined. But unfortunately things not go on my way early this morning. I was expecting to do productive things today but it was cancelled.

I'm pissed of.

* just don't try to understand me*

15: I hate it when it rains

Thursday na! Bored na ako. Isang week akong walang pasok dahil sa Bagyong Ondoy. Ang daming bagay ang sinira ng bagyong yon. Una, madaming bahay ang lumubog sa iba't ibang lugar. Pangalawa, madaming materyal na bagay ang nasira. At ikatlo, maraming buhay ang nawakasan. Nakakalungkot isipin na sa isang araw lang maraming buhay ang mawawala. Ako??naapektuhan din naman kami pero thankful pa rin ako na hindi ganun kalala kagaya sa ibang lugar. Bumaha din naman sa bahay namen pero hanggang first step lang ng hagdan namen pero sa labas ng bahay ay may instant river na. Pero nung napanood ko na ang mga balita, mas naging thankful ako na ganun lang ang naranasan namen ndi gaya sa ibang lugar. Maraming tao ngayon ang walang matitirhan, walang pagkain, walang damit. Pano pa kaya sila babangon pagkatapos ng dagok na tumama sa kanila. Ako..ala akong magawa. Gusto kong magvolunteer para makatulong sa ibang tao. Bukas magVovolunteer ako sa school para magrepack ng mga pagkain na ibibigay sa mga nasalanta.

Dati, I really love it when it rains. Dahil pag malakas ang ulan, alang pasok, masarap matulog. Pero ngayon, ayoko na. Natatakot na ako. May super bagyo pa naman dito sa bansa, kakapasok lang. Kanina umulan na ng malakas. Natakot na ako, kasi feeling ko babaha nanaman. Ndi pa nga lubusang nawawala ang baha sa ibang lugar tas uulan nanaman.

Sana maging maayos ang lahat. Sana maibalik ulit ang mga bagay na nawala. Sana madami pa ang taong tumutulong sa nangangailangan. Sana wag mawalan ng pag-asa ang mga taong naapektuhan. Just keep the faith, and everythings gonna be alright.

Dahil sa nangyaring ito, madami akong bagay na narealize, na ndi kailangan maging luxurious sa buhay, ok lang na simple.

13: Unmei-tte Shinjiru

9: Disconnected

Hi!!! I'm back..

I've been very busy this past few weeks

that's why I haven't post any blog entries for almost 2 weeks

8: And I know that it's a wonderful world, But I can't feel it right now

"I know that it's a wonderful world but I just can't feel it right now"

A line from the song, "Wonderful World".
I feel so damned wasted, frustrated, empty, and alone.
I don't want to feel this way.
Today, is 9/9/09. It's a once in a lifetime date.
Unusual. Some people say that it's a lucky date.
But definitely not for me.
I'm so bored today.
And the rain just gets on my nerve.
Today is a rainy day, and I think, when it rains,
I feel so emotional about things.
I'm weird, I know that!

But I still believe that someday, I'll be fine

"I thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now"

*P.S. just don't try to understand me, coz I can't understand myself either*

4: Good Morning

"Good Morning to the world that I love..

I hope you do love me back :)"

It is still early morning, around 6:22 am in my clock, and I'm already awake.
I sleep early yesterday coz I'm pretty much dizzy.
I wasn't able to create a blog entry yesterday coz my brain hurts.
I'm tired yesterday because I'm overloaded with work.
From 9 am to 6 pm yesterday, I've been very busy doing my tasks.
I almost fell in love with SAP CRM, coz SAP is always there for me when
I need it. (I'm doing all my work in SAP CRM :| )

And Today, I'm going to visit my Lola.
I'm going to chill out and relax with my cousins.

I hope today would be a good day.
I hope happiness will come my way today!

101 Goals in 1001 Days

101 things that I would do for 1001 days. This will serve as a list of goals that I need to accomplish within 1001 days or 2.75 years.


My 101 list:
Start Date: September 1, 2009
End Date: May 28, 2012


Family:

1. Enroll Rap in any sport
2. Give Nanay and Tatay vacation
3. Buy Nike sandals for Kuya Ruel
4. Buy something for our new baby
5. Buy a gift for ate
6. Buy some gifts for Nanay and Tatay
7. Have bonding time with my cousins
8. Watch UAAP Volleyball Live or V-league
9. Give half of my salary to Nanay
10. Give Mama a gift
11. Be a good child
12. Help my family with financial expenses
13. Have a family picture
14. Buy Rap any toy he wants
15. Buy a gift for Kuya Don
16. Make Ate smile
17. Buy a gift for Lola
18. Go to a beach with my cousins
19. Set a date for Nanay and Tatay
20. Vacation with the whole family
21. Visit Lola (father side)
22. Babysit Rap
23. Go shopping with Rap
24. Bring treats/”pasalubong” to my family
25. Treat my cousins

Friends:

26. Try zipline in Tagaytay with my OJT friends
27. Go to Davao after graduation with WG
28. Have communication with MCS Friends and OJT friends
29. Give a gift to Jen’s baby
30. Don’t forget the bday’s of my friends
31. Greet/text my friends when they are celebrating there bday
32. Share more laughter and pains with WG
33. Have a fine dine dinner with WG
34. Meet my old friends
35. Go out with my highschool friends
36. Buy Gifts for my friends
37. Watch a movie with WG
38. Go out of town with WG
39. Treat WG

School:

40. Attend all my classes in my last sem
41. Do all school tasks
42. Review my old lessons
43. Review my system analysis notes
44. Learn C++
45. Learn Mysql
46. Learn CSS
47. Learn PHP
48. Learn Flash
49. Pass my requirements in school on time
50. Get good grades
51. Graduate at 2010

Work:

52. Be able to work
53. Have a job that is in line with my course

Self and well being:

54. Try one extreme sport
55. Be able to relax
56. Learn how to cook
57. Have a facial treatment
58. Treat myself in a restaurant
59. Avoid drinking any alcoholic drink (except cocktail ah)
60. Give myself a gift every month
61. Read a book within 3 months
62. Buy a good book at least 5
63. Buy shoes at least 5
64. Buy clothes at least 5
65. Enroll in a photography class
66. Exercise
67. Save money (100 per week)


Religious Obligations:

68. Strengthen my faith and relationship with God
69. Pray the Rosary every October


For the Society:

70. Register to be a voter
71. Vote for the Presidential Election
72. Join a NGO
73. Donate blood
74. Sponsor a child through world vision
75. Share my blessings with other people
76. Be a volunteer

I just want:

77. Watch a concert
78. Watch a movie alone
79. Watch Heroes
80. Download at least 20 movies
81. Watch 20 Asian series
82. Watch 20 movies
83. Update my daily blogsite
84. Watch One Tree Hill season 7
85. Watch Dawnson Creek
86. Create 101 blog entries
87. Buy a watch
88. Buy asian series dvd
89. Watch New Moon
90. Watch Eclipse
91. Watch Breaking Dawn
92. Watch Toy Story
93. Watch at least 10 anime
94. Buy a cute umbrella
95. Scream at the top of my lungs
96. Take a picture of sceneries that I like
97. Learn a new Language


Sweet Nothings:

98. Eat twin popsies and share the other part with "him"
99. Attend a mass with ‘him’
100. Walk in the rain with ‘him’
101. Introduce ‘him’ to WG

I'm Pretty much BORED!!!

Today is not an eventful day. Nothing really important happened that's why I'm really really bored. I got to wake up early so that I wouldn't be late. At the office, I just sit around and talk with my friends all day. I didn't take a nap at lunchbreak because I think I'm not that sleepy. And by 4 pm, I felt so so sleepy. Gosh..I feel so tired even though I didn't do much today.

I hope tomorrow would be a better day. I really HATE my daily routine!!!It's so boring, I hope I get a chance to change it :)

What Defines Happiness?

"Happiness, a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy."
A definition that I've got from wikipedia. Since this morning, I've been thinking what would I need to do to be happy. I've been so gloomy this past few days, I really don't know why. Maybe I've been missing something in my life. I mean, my life isn't like a fairy tale or something. It has its ups and downs. I want to be happy. That is one of my life goal. Seeking happiness maybe difficult but I think I would be anything just to achieve it.

These are the things that defines my happiness:

FRIENDS

I'm happy whenever I'm with WG (my super super friends). I feel complete when I'm with them. I can be myself when I'm with them. I don't need to pretend, they accepted me for who I am. Even though life is difficult, they are still there to make me happy. I'm happy whenever I can talk to them or just sit beside them. They don't get mad whenever I complained alot. I thank GOD for giving them to me.

CAKE AND ICE CREAM

Eating this after a dreadful day makes me smile :)

Seeing people SMILE
A simple smile can brighten my worst day. Especially, when I know that they smile because of me. =)



Family
My family is one of the best gift that the Lord gave me. I feel bless because my family is complete.

ONE TREE HILL My Favorite TV Show
I really really Love this show

My Helping Hand
Whenever people accept my helping hand, that when I find peace and happiness.

Being happy is never easy. You need to find inner peace before you can gain HAPPINESS. So once you find happiness, hold it still before it slips away

"It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be."

Where do you go when your Lonely?

Well..ako hindi ko alam kung san pupunta..Gusto ko sanang umalis at magmuni muni..I feel alone..sobra..Ewan ko kung bakit..EMPtiness always finds a way through my heart..Since this morning, I feel like this..ALa ako sa mood to do anything, I just want to feel my loneliness..I feel kinda devastated.."Nothing's going right and everything's a mess", sbi nga sa kanta..kung titignan mo mabuti ang situation ko ngayon at kung nakikita mo lang ako ngayon, akala mo wala akong problema, akala mo masaya ako..pero akala mo lang un..Deep inside, I'm broken..I wanna do something so that I could fix myself..IT's a damn colded night and I'm trying to figure out this life..Feeling ko, parang I'm living lang because I'm alive, alam mo un, yung parang wala kang sariling buhay, at nabubuhay ka lang kasi kailangan..SOmetimes I wonder ko ano tlaga ang purpose ko, Pero sabi nga nila everything happens for a reason..Pero I've been wondering for so long kung ano ung REASON na un..I'm sad and lonely right now..well I guess that's life..ANd I'm so sick of it..

BAT ngayon di pa rin alam kung bakit tayo andito!!
Everything will be alright! =)
I hope!!IRONIC =(

What is my Biggest WEAKNESS?

What is my biggest weakness??Well, according sa isang quiz sa isang social networking site na Facebook, ang biggest weakness ko daw ay HEART...Eto yung details tungkol sa result ng quiz na sinagutan ko...

"Heart: You are often loved because of your outgoing and fun personality, and you like to give hugs and flirt, but underneath of it all you are lacking heart. You find... it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life, but you want to love, you desperately want that fun, romance that you see in others, but you don't know if you can have it in your current circumstances. You want stability, but at the same time you need change. You go from one extreme to another and often feel overwhelmed when you can't figure out something. You think about your life often and how you can improve your character. You find it hard to settle, but you really want to. You just feel like you need to find that balance, that heart that you've been missing for so long. You need to love through the pain, but it's so hard. But the walls need to crumble for you to truly be YOU.."

Napakatotoo ng result ng quiz na to..accurate ika nga nila..Ewan ko kung bakit naging ganito yung result ng quiz, pero infairness totoo cya, sometimes, It's so hard to me to accept people easily or love someone..ewan ko,..sometimes I build a shield around myself so that people won't see the real me..haha..so emo..ayoko ng ganito..I want CHANGE!!!